They say, “If you keep delaying a decision, it could be made for you.” 

Should I choose now? Or if I don’t…. would I get stuck with an outcome I wouldn’t want? 

Im scared :(

That feeling when all you want is to be alone. To cry. And cry. Then cry a little more. When you just want to leave it all behind and live life with no worries even for just five minutes… When you just want to break down or maybe just eat a whole gallon of ice cream all by yourself because that’s what will make you feel better… When you just want to watch movies all night so your life will seem like one… When all you need is someone to talk to.. someone to cuddle with.. someone to keep you company and listen to all your crazy shits. 

My life is so messed up.

Life is so fragile but there are days when you discover you’ve climbed into your own heart and the narrow course of your veins becomes a water park joyride, flooded with a steady chemical drip from some gland in the brain, the trickle adding up to a waterfall of joy and you just fly down that intense slide even in the presence of death and all the other drab prospects.

I’m so productive todaaaaay! Ang saya lang. But nakakapagod at the same time. Wala si Mama until Sunday at ang ibig sabihin… ako gagawa lahat ng gawaing bahay. Kasama ko naman kuya ko pero come and go lang naman yun hahaha ang sama ko eh, joke lang love you kuya!:D Tapos may pina-process pa ko na something major. Ah basta. Ang hirap pala kapag wala si Mama, I just realized.

Bukas kailangan pa gumising ng maaga para magluto, maglinis ng bahay, maghugas ng pinggan blah blah blah. But I know I can do thizzz. And I should do this para naman makita ni Mama na kahit papano, responsible enough na ko :) Naks naman, ako ba talaga to? 

They say, ” In life’s winter, find your invincible summer.” I think I just found mine. I’ll miss you green and tall trees, fresh morning air, fish ponds, day walks, night talks, sleepless nights, pillow fights and SPENDING EVERY SINGLE DAY WITH THOSE WHO MATTER MOST without worrying what will happen tomorrow. This trip has been amazing and… carefree.

PS:

In every girl’s life there’s a boy she’ll never forget and a summer where it all began.